Here's my break up letter - anyone got an address I can send it to??
Dear Ms. Xbox
Thanks for the fun and pleasure you have given me over the past few years but I think it is time I moved on. It is obvious that you are changing, and not in a way that is attractive to me in the slightest.
I have to say that circumstances led me into your arms in the first place and away from my true love who I will refer to as PS. PS all of a sudden got old on me. Her looks faded, she made annoying noises and she would freeze up on me at the most inopportune times. She said she was changing but the change was too slow and cost more than I was willing to spend on our relationship.
My family and friends were the first to draw you to my attention, as they were in relationships with your sisters, and you were everything I needed you to be. You were fun, friendly and was happy with the games I played. You allowed me to socialise with my friends, even though there was a price to pay, without any other stress and you were there for me when I just needed to let off steam.
But soon, you won't be the same woman I fell in love with. I am not talking about the superficial changes either. You've put on a bit of weight but I like bigger women. You have changed colour but that actually suits me better. The name change, while a little facetious, is not really an issue.
It is that you are becoming SO needy. There is no way I am going to be able to keep you turned on 24/7, like you expect, and why should I check in with you at least once a day?? What of all the memories and games we used to play that you have decided to discard and not reflect on ever again?? And not allowing me to play my games with your sisters and my friends, unless they pay for it, is also a real turn off. Believe me, there is no way in hell I am going to have a camera on me everytime I sit down to watch television - this ain't no reality show.
I know that you are doing this to ensure that you are prepared for the future but you are trying to be too many things for me, most of which you won't give me anyway with because I won't move overseas. Most of those things I don't want or need anyway, and definitely not from you.
Which is why I am going back to PS - she offers me what I want without being the overbearing, needy cow you are becoming. She is also lower maintenance and is focussed on MY wants and needs, not using me to shape her own future like you are trying to do.
I will still keep the old you around and check in every now and then, reliving some old memories and playing some of our old games but when your change is complete, I am out of your life until you reconsider your ways.
With little regret
Ginginho7