I'll just finish that for you.
...A native Inuit prostitute, roaming the badlands of Blaine County following a nine-week peyote bender out in the desert. As you regain consciousness and use cheap American non-alcoholic beer to detox your system, you feel the urge to acquire as many hidden packages as possible. These come in the form of severed heads, barbecued pork rib bones, and rusted sporks, all wrapped in hot pink butcher paper. Upon acquiring all 9,574 packages, the game automatically restarts.