ViceMan

Massacre is a Chinese carpenter?

Why not just the eye TV on a black background? Perhaps with a dead honky splayed artistically astride it.

Religion is made up of beliefs, but a set of beliefs is not necessarily a religion. The two are connected, clearly, but having beliefs is far from having a religion. A house is made of lumber, but a pile of lumber isn't a house. I like your analogy Massy, very apt. Anyway I don't care whatsoever about religion, never have. To me it's just another set of archaic laws and rules to control the masses that have no bearing on modern society. I'm not going to go any deeper than that because frankly... I can't be arsed. Other people can believe whatever they like, as long as I don't have to hear about it. They can have their little rituals and i'll have mine. *ties up a goat*

Let me guess, you investigated Hjerim, and now it's directing you to Jorleif, and he has nothing to say? Not quite, for some reason the murder never took place even after entering Windhelm about two dozen times. So I got bored of waiting, stole the key to Hjerim and took the amulet in hopes of forcing the quest to start - it didn't. I also stole Calixto's key and got his journal again to try and force it to start. I can ask Jorleif about purchasing the house, but he just keeps going on that it isn't for sale yet due to some "unpleasantness", fucking prick. Anyway my third game has also got a bug where my alchemy potions only have an effect of 1%, even with 100 alchemy and all the perks. With that I think i'm getting bored of the game. I've just started my fourth game, a Khajiit thief (duh) called Dar'kato, but I don't think i'll be playing that too long somehow, i'll just do the thieves guild storyline and skip the main quests as I said before, it doesn't seem right a thief being Dragonborn. So as i'm probably not going to be playing as much now I could possibly return to my noob-bashing duties here. Hmmm. Lucky you.

I've returned from my self-imposed exile briefly to update you on my Skyrim progress. I have three separate games going now, each at different levels of completion; My first was my Dark Elf - Galrooth was 'is name (yeah fuck you, I didn't know any cool sounding Dark Elf names) - jack-of-all-trades type thingy since I didn't really know what to do to start off with, he's good at archery, stealth, one handed and other shite. Game got bugged with the civil war quest where no soldiers spawn at the forts, gave up after that since i'd completed the main storyline. Haven't touched that save in about a month now. Level 63. My second was a prototypical Nord tank; y'know the two-handed, battleaxe wielding, D-O lookalike. I called him Garvard Stead-Fire since i'd played through the game once by that point and had some idea of some names. He obviously joined the Stormcloaks. Had a different bug in this game preventing me from completing the "Blood On the Ice" quest and therefore preventing me from acquiring Hjerim, which is a bastard because it's in THE Stormcloak city. Haven't touched that one in a week now. Level 58. My third and current is a High Elf mage called Iradas. I'm not going to bother doing the civil war quest in this one, i'm going to stay neutral and just teabag everybody with my great balls of fire and chain lightning. 'tis much more fun. Level 43. I also plan on doing a Khajiit/Argonian thief playthough, propbably won't do the civil war or main story quests on that one. Doesn't seem right being Dragonborn if you're nothing but a thief. I might also do a proper Imperial playthrough after that since my first game was just me trying a bit of everything. So yeah, see you in a few months from now. I heard there might be some GTA V info this month, but I don't expect to return as soon as it's released. I'll wait for the influx of noobs to subside to a safe level before I return... or perhaps I won't, depends if i'm feeling masochistic and fancy facefucking some random unsuspecting noobs. Coincidentally I hope the noob raping is going well and isn't being impeded by certain detrimental factors. I might slap on the ol' razor wire condom again and return to battle the noobs in the near future, we shall see. But anyway g'night honkys and proud americans and proud americans and honkys. Your loving subject, Vice. xoxo *waves and fades away*

Found another small town in The Reach; Karthwasten. Das ist sounding ze very German ja? Not much there to see though.

I accidentally with Frankenstein and rope in 2012. It was great.

Yeah Whiterun always seems to be a bit laggier than other places. I'm at 13MB near enough.

Yes I had that quest, but in Ivarstead. I think I already mentioned my trip to the temple of Dibella after I woke up. I ventured into the inner sanctum where all the women attacked me, so I killed them. Now the temple's empty... I blame the drink.

Uh yes and... no actually I didn't switch to a different game. You don't believe me do you?

The only one for enchanting I know is blue butterfly wings and snowberries. Invisibility is chaurus eggs and luna moth wings. Chizeck dis sheet fo' sho'.

I have 8 so far, but from what i've read of the quest the reward isn't really worth it. ^What that guy said.

Most of those proud americans like to show off their shit on Youtube don't they? *snorts derisively* "My sword does 768 damage, that's five more than yours. Bow down before my mighty penis!"

So killing Alduin in Sovngarde wasn't nearly as hard as the Skuldafn level that preceded it. Even that wasn't hard, just time consuming sneak attacking a couple of dozen Draugr Deathlords. I didn't kill the Dragon Priest there, as I was being attacked by four Draugr Deathords and two elder dragons, which lagged my game out considerably, it isn't easy to fight those guys playing at 5 fps. Instead I just jumped straight into the portal. Anyway luckily my game crashed soon afterwards and I forgot to save so I can do it all over again, woo.

I encountered my first dragon priest today, Krosis. Taking him and an ancient dragon at the same time was quite a challenge, but once the dragon went down he was easy enough to beat.

Only in my wildest fantasies.

It's ok early on, but after a while you'll notice it. You seen those warriors from Hammerfell? They've got curved swords. Curved... swords.

I'm so glad I stopped checking the GTA 5 wish list topics, this shit's depressing.

Turning off all autosaving does help stop the random crashes, it doesn't eliminate them altogether but it reduces the chances of it happening. The downside is that if you play for a long time and do a lot of quests, then forget to save and die you're fucked. The lag problems can't really be solved and they only happen after you've been playing a long time and there's a lot going on. In those cases it's best to turn off the PS3 and let it cool down.

So i'm at 153 hours played, level 50, save file just passed the 12MB mark. Just had a fight with a blood dragon while playing at about 5 frames per second, it was quite funny actually because four wolves and two foxes decided to join in and it was a challenge shooting them at point blank range while they stuttered across the screen. Why the foxes tried to attack me I don't know, but they stood next to the dragon growling at me. I managed to kill the lag dragon and things got slightly better, but it was still stuttery so I decided it was time to save and turn off. The lag and random crashes are the only things that are keeping me from progressing really, which is a shame.

Falkreath? The last one I visited was Dawnstar. Markarth is all Dwarven and set into a mountain, but it's not as bad as Windhelm which is just varying shades of dull grey walls covered in snow.

No, just Riften and Whiterun. Never becoming Thane of Windhelm, I fucking hate that place and avoid it as much as I can.

So it seems like i'm going to end up as the Thieves Guild master, Companion member, Blade, Nightingale, Arch-Mage of the Winterhold college and i'm probably going to join the Dark Brotherhood somewhere down the line. How many more fucking factions can I join? Is there a clan of tourette-suffering transvestites I can sign up for too?

Go to Riften and find Brynjolf.

Yes but you can pickpocket thousands and the bounty for doing it is only 25 or something, and half if you're in the Thieves Guild. I paid thousands for training in some skill or another, then pickpocketed the money back and had to pay a fine of 12 septims. I've only used the "i'm the Jarl's Thane" excuse once, i'm not sure if it works every time.