Stoic Person Eater

Really? With Chuck? That is the most incredible news I have ever heard, I shit thee not. My heart is happy. Now fuck the hell out of her and make her call you Stoic.

What are the Khajit?

That's another thing I noticed, but I just assumed they conjured their shit to appear somewhere else. I have an alteration spell that turns doo-doo to Iron Ore.

I'm so fucking good at sneaking, I don't leave footprints. Also, no bathrooms in Skyrim? I've been shitting in the river upstream of Whiterun. It's now called Brownrun.

bones, did you get the game or are you getting pregame jitters? I played the fuck out of Skyrim this weekend. My save file is at just under 85 hours. I tried clearing out my miscellaneous tasks, and AGAIN, I got Skyrim'd. My mission list is longer than ever. Here's a list of shit I did this weekend: -Finally made my way to Riften; about to join up with the Thieves' Guild. -Got married to the chick in Riverwood, the merchant's sister. I told her to stay in Riverwood, so she still sleeps in the same with her brother. When I came to see her, she gave me 800 gold and made me food. I left and didn't have to give her a reason. There is an speech option to have her move (presumably in with me), but I think I'll keep her ass there for awhile. Much better than IRL. -Did the party mission (Diplomatic Immunity) which was pretty good. -Did a mission in Northwatch Keep rescuing the guy's brother from Whiterun from the Thalmor. Got a SHITTON of Glass and Elven armor/weapons that turned into an incredible profit margin and my most advanced armor/weapons yet. I had to recruit a mule (Jenessa(?)) to help me carry all the shit back. I dismissed her after our trip back to my house to drop shit off. I don't use companions. -During the process of creating all the weapons/armor, I maxed out my Smithing at 100. My weapons are the SHIT, son. -Got arrested in Solitude, broke out of jail by knocking down the jail wall with one click. Easiest achievement of my life. Getting my equipment back was the hardest thing ever. Make sure you have a good save file pre-arrest. I'm at 18 dragons killed so far. Seems like so many more, but each one has been equally epic. Had a Christmas party to go to Saturday night and my wife had to wait a few extra minutes because a dragon attacked as I was getting ready to save... Ah, I am also on the cusp of becoming a werewolf - just been delaying it for some reason. Probably knock it out tonight or tomorrow. ONE more thing - I had my first big glitch. As I was getting ready to leave Whiterun, the wall around the gate to Skyrim was gone and I could see the tower in the distance. I went around the gate, through what should have been a wall and walked all the way to the tower/fort to the west of Whiterun. As I got closer to the structures, the ground opened up and there were huge holes/trenches (perhaps the dungeons?) underneath them and the buildings disappear. There were no animals or plants or anything, it was just the shell of landscape. I walked back to Whiterun, got into the city by another hole in the wall, I could see the water streams flowing in midair that are supposed to be part of the waterfalls in town. Pretty fucking crazy. I reloaded as not to lose anything and the wall was there.

That river is great for disposing of bodies. One day, I am going to clear out Riverwood. Maybe on another save file...

A few of my favorite things: Every female bandit/forsworn/mage/whatever I kill, I leave in their underpants. When removing stuff from their inventory, I take their armor, leaving them in their underpants. I usually just drop their armor out of my inventory, I don't usually need it - but I figured someone who comes along after me might need it. Nothing like finding some new armor AND a headless corpse in brown bra and panties! I've been collecting sweet rolls. Not to eat, for decoration. I would like to have a whole room of sweet rolls in my house. YUM! I have the Dwarven Helmet of Waterbreathing - which is like Skyrim Scuba. I have been to the depths of almost every lake and every shipwreck I have come across. You'd be surprised what's down there, and there isn't a fish that's safe from me. I wish there was a way to ward off Slaughterfish though.

I love climbing a mountain when all of a sudden a bear/sabrecat/wolf attacks out of nowhere - instead of hacking away at at the animal; I do a quick maneuver and FUS RO DAH them off the mountain. That will never, ever, ever, ever get old. The only other completed dragon shout I have is 'Whirlwind Sprint'; which I rarely use - but none of the other ones compare to the power of launching someone/something off a cliff. I was home sick yesterday and spent the entire day playing Skyrim, smoking blunts and eating smoked meat. I did a ton of bullshitting - I harvested over 500 chaurus eggs from the Frost Whatever Lighttower; then spent a few hours hopping around the tundra near Whiterun at night; looking for Luna Moth wings so I can make invisibility potions and get rich. I made a bunch of "Fortify Enchanting" potions and I am trying to focus on building up my enchanting level. I'm finding a lot of badass weapons and I am amazed at the amount of money they are fetching. Anyway, I spent the entire day playing, but I didn't do a single MAIN mission; just a bunch of cleanup of some miscellaneous tasks. To be honest, I couldn't tell you what the fuck the real storyline is. My story is FAR more entertaining, I assure you.

So, zombies?

I was in a dungeon going to see the blacks about some black woman working in Whiterun, I was sneaking through a puddle in a narrow tunnel and just fell through the floor. It was the common falling through polygons with brief glimpses of the sky and then it dropped me right back in the same place. I freaked for a second, but as often as I save, no glitch is a game changer for me.

I really didn't take too much damage; but I am pretty sure I used potions (I usually throw in a fortify light armor potion and health regenerative potion just for the hell of it). Most of my magicka was spent on fireballs, so I resorted to potions. Potions are easier to access than the healing spell and then trying to use a healing spell during a dragon fight? Madness!

I didn't play the second one, but I did play the first for a little while. It was entertaining - I think it's big technological breakthrough was all of the NPC's in the world around you. It was a lot of fun just mowing down crowds and crowds of people. Other than that, I can't really remember anything about the game.

This, I get FUCKED UP by ice shards. Only thing that kills me, but their like a one-shot kill everytime. Last night I had my first wizardly showdown with a frost dragon in Winterhold. I came out of the Jarl's house and the music kicked in - DRAGON! During his first couple of circlings, I hit him with a few fireballs and the guards were attacking him as well. The dragon killed three of the four guards, which is more than I've seen before - usually only one or two will fall; so there were no more distractions. He landed on the road at the edge of Winterhold (opposite the closet) and I equipped a couple of staffs (fire and one that does damage to magic/stamina) and went at him full steam. His icy blasts didn't phase me too much, but when they did - BOOM! Healing spell and back to the fireballs. I did a fully charged blast which stunned him (think it's one of my perks) and then I FUS RO DAH'd his ass over the cliff. Fucking dead. Now I got to figure out how to get to the bottom to get his bones/scales/gold/penis.

Based on the two screens and no description you have provided, I would say that you're a dickhead and this game will never come to fruition. I hope you kill yourself. I fucking hate threads like this. TWO FUCKING SCREENSHOTS? Of an old newspaper stand and FUCKING TREES? FUCK YOU!

Yeah, he can only get you to level 50.

There is also a glitch with the archery perk upgrade from Faendal. I found it too late to really prosper from it; but if you meet the elf Faendal in Riverwood, you can ask him to be your companion. He'll start following you around (he's also a great first follower; plus I don't think you have to do much to get him as a follower - there is a minor quest; involving a love triangle). After he is your follower, you can ask him for training in archery. You can pay him for the training and the ask him to trade, access his inventory and take all your gold back from him. Rinse and repeat. I only did this to get from archery level 47 to 50 and test it out.

This is the best arrow to the knee ever.

Yah dood those guize r wearin da fingerless gluvs nigga - niko's friends and cj's roommates?

I hate this site.

I thought the mid-season finale was great. It was what the series needed; just about every episode leading up to this one had been very, very slow. I hope the thrills keep coming.

As Psy said, there has been so much rimming - what to share? Right now, my guy is well on his way to becoming a powerful wizard; attending the College of Magic. I think I may have just stumbled on my first Daedra quest with Azura(?) and the disbanded wizard in the inn at Winterhold. I haven't pursued it too far yet, but I think it's the one Dupz was talking about. I've started the quests for the college so I can become a sexy magician. I've spent a lot of time exploring; more so than questing. I haven't been doing most of the main quests in the storyline, but I have been doing everyone's errands like retrieving magical staffs, rings, and other stuff from skeleton infested dungeons. I've also made a point of doing all the bounty missions - fuck the bandits. My guy is wearing magic regenerating elven armor, pickpocket enhanced elven gauntlets, sneaky elven boots and I switch between the Volkun mask and the Dwarven Helmet of Rebreathing depending on what the situation is. It's pretty nice to be able to swim without having to worry about surfacing. With my sneak skill as high as it is, I'm like a fucking navy seal. I focus on a lot of sneaky archery when not flaunting my magical skills. Right now I have a Glass Bow that burns and a Dwarf bow for capturing souls. I am still mostly using steel arrows, dwarf ones on dragons and bigger creatures. I try and leave the arrows in peoples faces if I kill them with a headshot. I am trying to get my conjuration boosted so I can add the Bound Bow to my arsenal. I have an elven sword that burns and an orchish battle axe that freezes. I just got the perk for decapitating people, so that's been my favorite method of dispatching an enemy. My main spells are as follows; Destruction: Flames (I want the fireball!), Sparks, Ice Spike (to the FACE!) ; Conjuration: Bound Bow, Flame Atronach, Raise Corpse; Restoration: Fast Healing; Lesser Ward and the Alteration one for turning iron ore to silver and then silver to gold. Any mission I get, I usually fast travel to a close location and then walk the rest of the way there; the most fun experiences for me are the random things you come across - yesterday, I did a "wait save" near the dragon burial place by Saarthal/Winterhold and came across a snow bear fighting a couple of Imperial guards who were escorting a Stormcloak prisoner. The bear royally fucked everyone and then came after me. I reloaded a few times and tried to save the Stormcloak prisoner (who was unarmed and bound); but it was to no avail. I couldn't kill the bear before he wrecked the prisoner; but it was a hell of time trying. Best I did was distract the bear enough to save two of the Imperial guards which I FUS-DO-RAH'd off the cliff and straight to hell. After completing a mission and/or clearing a dungeon; I have a pretty standard routine; I travel back to Whiterun and buy all the iron and silver ore possible - the rest of my time in Whiterun I am casting the alteration spell to change the iron to silver, and then silver to gold. I buy any ingots I will need for upgrading the weapons/armor I have looted/found in that dungeon. I then proceed to upgrade them at the grindstone/workbench. I sell anything magical right away; otherwise I take the recently upgraded equipment to Dragon's Reach to enchant it (anyone know of an enchanting table in lower Whiterun closer to the house?) and buy all the soul gems I can (I prefer buying the empties and filling them myself). I sell any magic related shit to the guy there; he'll take all my enchanted jewelry and armor/clothes. I sell off any additional weapons to the guy and girl at WarMaidens. I stock up on anything else I need supply wise, iron ingots and leather strips to craft some daggers. I smelt all the gold ore I have accumulated; then head to the forge and create any gold jewelry I can (going for value) but gold necklaces go for the most sans jewels and use the least amount of resources (the iron daggers of gold jewelry). Then I make a bunch of iron daggers. I don't bother enchanting them; that's a waste of soul gems for me. I sell them back for meager (or no) profits. I hang on to the jewelry for my next trip to the enchanting table. I then go back to my house and drop any loot I want to save; unique weapons (I have about 12 stolen staffs/swords chilling in the corner next to the broom); dragon scales (I sell the dragon bones; not planning on making the heavy armor) and ingredients for making potions (I don't really make potions other than the restore health. Anything else I make, I usually sell off. I steal all the potions I need; plus there are spells for healing). If the dungeon had a lot of equipment I couldn't carry, I go back with one of the mercenaries as a mule to carry shit back, then go back through the process. I've only had to return with a merc on some of the Dwemer Ruins where there is a lot of heavy ass scrap metal to bring back. Pretty fucking tedious, but I net a ton of gold each trip. I also do shit around the house IRL or do my Skyrim workout (more on that in a minute) while taking care of business around Whiterun. It's kind of my homebase and I haven't found another city with the same features as Whiterun (yet). Both Dawnstar and Winterhold are pretty small. I haven't really come to any other major cities other than that. I think I've been to Windhelm, but that was part of a quest and I didn't spend much time there. Riverwood is good too, but ever since the dragon killed the blacksmith there, it's been less of a hot spot for me to visit. The trader there gives me a good deal for the Dragon Bones and has a good variety of spells and miscellaneous wares (soul gems, ore and ingots). I had my first glitch yesterday - related to a dragon flying. I was up by the aforementioned Dragon Burial location near Winterhold where there is a Blood Dragon that perches over the ruins. I had tried fighting him a few times and got the shit kicked out of me each time. I was at the mission where I was supposed to meet the other mage students at Saarthal for the escavation; so I figured I might be able to lure the dragon over that way and have the other mages assist in killing it. I engaged the dragon with some arrows and started making my way down the cliff towards Saarthal, however the dragon didn't seem to follow, but I could see his red dot on my HUD. I went back up the hill, and came over a rock and saw him in the sky, going round and round, like he was going down a drain; right over his perch. He was flying, but his circles were very, very tight. It was pretty funny. I tried to get my cell phone out to film it; but he finally landed on the perch. I snuck up on him while he was perched, fired a few arrows and he disappeared. So I waited for a few hours just down from his spawn point on the perch and after the wait menu dropped, he was back on the perch. I was able to fight and kill him afterwards, it was just very weird. Game certainly isn't broken, but it was hella weird. Last thing, I spent a good amount of this weekend playing Skyrim and not doing much else, so I figured I would work a little real life exercise into the game. I got an exercise ball to sit on and I knock out crunches during loading screens. When I am in between quests, doing my "errands" in Whiterun, I knock out some pushups and curls during loading screens. Since there is no threat of being attacked within the city, I don't have to worry about entering a door and then getting killed. The extra time on the pushups or curls also gives me time to charge my magic back up for my alteration spells. I was getting a sore neck from sitting on my couch so long, but the Skyrim Workout has definitely made me feel better about sitting around all day. Your gamertag suggests you haven't even started on Skyrim. yah pal I haven't been online to play. Go troll your ass Is it because you're too poor to afford Gold Membership?