Massacre

This looks like a really fucked up version of the end of Old Yeller. Old No-Arms rocked out until the bitter end.

Mexico produces the worst weed in the world. If you're buying from a Mexican, you're the one getting ripped off. Oh, and maybe take a look at the worldwide cocaine industry. Mexicans understand the value of a dollar pretty well, and they're getting those dollars from Americans who don't. If you want to be racist, go ahead, I don't care. But at least do it in a way that makes sense.

Oh, that's right, you two met up for gay sex. I had no idea it was so easy to get GunSmith to meet with you. Hey, GunSmith, wanna meet up? I have candy, and no surgical equipment at all. I totally have no use for your vital organs, and I certainly don't have the number for a person to sell them to. Trust me, there isn't a single Russian crime boss who needs your heart, nor is there a drug baron in need of your liver.

He has since made edits to correct himself.

Nigga that ain't how that word is used.

FUCKING FUCK YES. Everyone in Sandy Shores is so jealous.

I'm driving on the far, far outskirts of a drop zone right now (it glitches and never drops the crate if you wait for it in the circle), but it's announced a crate drop three times without actually dropping the crate. I think someone's already fucked it up.

Yep. Crates will never drop in private lobbies. They used to. They're supposed to. That broke back in November, along with normal crate drop rates (it's much lower than used to be or should be), and they haven't bothered to fix it.

YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I can't get a crate drop. Anywhere. Ever. At all. I've been hopping public sessions all night.

If I keep adding people, my friend list is going to give people the impression I'm sociable and enjoyable to interact with. That might make it easier to get people into my van, though...

Who wants to take a ride with Uncle Massacre?

From left to right: A bunch of QDs. Edit: And maybe Kuz.

This reminds me. Someone punched me for not dressing patriotically, and I don't know who it was. I do intend to adorn this new clothing and pistol whip them at the next event, though.

I did this. It's not like I was driving my dune buggy or Injection, anyway. Or my spare Akuma. The Rhapsody was the tough choice, but I eventually take every drive off-road, and the Mirthmobile just couldn't hang in that scenario.

The 2-car garage in Sandy Shores has a slightly larger garage exterior than those 6-car options, too. Pretty fucky, yeah?

I mounted the curb at about 40 (as I so often do), and did a wheelie for about 20 feet. It's never done that before. Any other bump did the same, to a lesser extent. When I first got it, even before dropping the suspension, it never bounced like that.

Did this update fuck up certain cars, like the High Life update fucked up the Sandking? I don't remember my Blade being quite so bouncy.

I was drunk. I was high. I crashed my Akuma into their pool. Now they won't let me leave.

I forgot you can't use DLC weapons in deathmatches. So much for that Revolutionary War deathmatch.

I can finally live in Sandy Shores, but I have to narrow my cars down to 8 to do so. I already dropped from 20 to 12 when the hipster update came out. This update is just pissing me off. The hipster update gave me fun new shit, this update is giving me digital life choices.

None of the new t-shirts are black. Rockstar's trying to fuck up my style. No new tattoos, either. Why bother?

The interiors are the same as the apartment interiors.

Firework rocket launcher is weak. Took five shots to destroy a car (was firing a sixth, but the car exploded before it landed). The Liberator is fun, but definitely not worth the price. Musket is powerful, but it's a single-shot, of course, so it's not really worth it. That's what I tested in singleplayer (no way was I going to shell out $750k for a test drive online), heading online now.

Bike is shit. Great performance, no aesthetic mods. Can't change the fugly paint.

The game can tell I'm not using a mic. Why the fuck isn't there a failsafe that ensures I'm the driver in a fucking rally race?