The Zombie Apocalypse Bible

[DuPz0r 5361]

The Zombie Apocalypse Bible

I know we have the Post Apocalyptic Playalong thread, but A zombie outbreak is a slightly different matter, and plans need to be more carefully thought out if you want to survive.

This is how it's going to work: i'll ask a bunch of questions, and hope you lot will be bothered to answer them. Over time we can then build a collection of tips for survival. Like an outbreak bible! Also, feel free to add to this, by asking your own questions too.

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Intel:

I guess the most important question you should be asking yourself is what kind of threat are we looking at?

Are the zombies fast & vicious?

Are they slow and avoidable?

How do they hunt? do they stand idle until they can see/smell you? Or do they hide and wait for you?

Refuge:

Where you will hold up.

Is your house/flat/apartment safe in an outbreak?

How many people do you have with you, and will they help you survive or end up getting you killed?

Will you seek refuge somewhere else, and why?

Will you keep moving from place to place, to avoid being cornered?

Rationing:

What you will do when you run out of food & water.

Will you go out and look for food?

Do you have one place in mind that will house all your needs?

You don't have a lot of storage on the move, What is the most essential food and tools for survival?

Defence/Offence:

So you want to survive? What sort of weapons & defence do you plan to put in place to help you live longer?

If you have a gun, do you have enough ammo? if not, where will you get it?

What sort of melee weapon will keep you a good arms length away if you have to come face to face with one?

Will you secure your windows if you have any? If so, with what, and where will you get that?

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So, a few simple survival questions which should get you in the right mind set. Don't forget to answer them, as that is the point of the thread. To build a collection of different scenarios and versions of how to survive.

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These are my own answers:

Intel:

I guess the most important question you should be asking yourself is what kind of threat are we looking at?

I'm gonna say we're looking at 28 days later style RAGE zombies.

They're not slow, they're quick and relentless.

They're smart and stay out of sight until they see any vulnerable prey.

Refuge:

Where you will hold up.

I live in a flat above ground floor with secure doors, so I think I'll be safe at home.

I have a Wife and Son, and they're the only people i care about enough to get myself killed over.

They only reason for me to seek refuge anywhere else is if somehow, my flat became unsafe. Or if i couldn't get back in after collecting survival supplies.

My last choice, but if i had to, then yes i would keep moving until i found somewhere as secure as before.

Rationing:

What you will do when you run out of food & water.

Well yes, I'm not a cowered, if I need food, I'll go and get it. But I'd ask my family to stay at home.

I have a huge Asda-Walmart right near my house. although it could be swarming with zombies, is the best place for supplies near me.

I'd stock up on tinned food, dried foods, bottled water and a selection of drugs like painkillers and antibiotics etc.

Defence/Offence:

Guns aren't really accessible in my country, so it'd have to be a good selection of melee weapons.

No guns worth keeping on me around here.

A baseball bat, a machete and maybe divers knife as backup.

My windows shouldn't be accessible on the first floor, but I'd probably nail some wood over them only leaving small gaps to look out.

One thing i saw in 28 days later which i liked, was the use of trolly's at the bottom of the stairwell. I think I'd do something similar if it didn't put my life at risk.

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Feel free to add anything else that will have value to this thread, like images of good hideout setups, food and supply items, weapons, etc...

[Mercy 30]

I hope im doing this right.

Intel: I guess the most important question you should be asking yourself is what kind of threat are we looking at?

I am legend style, some vaccine has coursed everyone to die or become these other beings "zombies".

Keeping with the I Am Legend style, they are smart, can use traps

. They work together to catch you.

Refuge: Where you will hold up. Is your house/flat/apartment safe in an outbreak? How many people do you have with you, and will they help you survive or end up getting you killed? Will you seek refuge somewhere else, and why? Will you keep moving from place to place, to avoid being cornered?

I will go to where i work, high fences and i have keys to get in. I would board up the windows just incase they got through the gate. I would be alone, usually if you go with others they get u killed, they get bit and u dont want to kill them.

Rationing: What you will do when you run out of food & water. Will you go out and look for food? Do you have one place in mind that will house all your needs? You don't have a lot of storage on the move, What is the most essential food and tools for survival?

This is an issue and means i will have to leave my safehouse to get food etc.

Defence/Offence: So you want to survive? What sort of weapons & defence do you plan to put in place to help you live longer? If you have a gun, do you have enough ammo? if not, where will you get it? What sort of melee weapon will keep you a good arms length away if you have to come face to face with one? Will you secure your windows if you have any? If so, with what, and where will you get that?

I will use anything i can. Bricks, wood...anything. once i reache the place i work i can find knifes etc.

[Stoic Person Eater 159]

Zombie Outbreak - Survival Tips

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Intel:

I'm going with the Walking Dead kind of zombies - slow and lumbering, but dangerous in packs. Standard rules apply, you get bit, you get zombified - the dead aren't coming back to life; ie previously killed or people killed by un-zombies are not affected by the reanimation. Outbreak probably started by a proud american fucking a rabid monkey or something. Outbreaks have blown up across the eastern seaboard; the first "infected" bit someone, it spread drastically, wiping out throngs of people everywhere. People seeking to aid bitten loved ones become victims at their own turned love ones attacking them after dying and becoming reanimated. Only way to kill the dead is to destroy. the. brain.

Refuge:

It would just be Mrs. Person Eater and myself. Provided she doesn't get her ass eaten before she gets home, that's really all I would be concerned about. And my dogs, but they would have to be a secondary priority.

My neighborhood is gated and since the power went out due to civilization; driving is limited unless someone smashed out the gate in a panic exposing us to the infection. The gate has been slammed into about a dozen times in NON-zombie instances, so there is a good chance my secure neighborhood would be exposed to zombies and blacks. Good chance most of my idiot neighbors would be turned as they always come outside to investigate every occurrance in the neighborhood. If a zombie walked through our neighborhood and looked out of place, my neighbors would go out and talk to the zombie to see what they're doing in our neighborhood. If the zombie didn't kill them; they would likely call the Home Owner's Association to register a complaint; but the phones would be down. They'd probably organize a meeting with my other neighbors about the zombie and hopefully all be killed and turned at the same time; then go home and kill their idiot spouses and kids. Within a few days, my neighborhood would be crawling with zombies.

I live in a townhouse, the bottom level is a garage and there are stairs to get up into the second floor. There is a gate to the stairwell, which is pretty zombie-proof; provided they don't have superstrength or anything. I feel safe now from black people, so I wouldn't feel threatened by zombies wondering around. The windows on the front of my house would provide a great view of the action on the street and the third floor window would provide a bird's eye view of the surrounding neighborhood. I could reach some of my neighbor's townhomes by climbing to my roof and descending to their third floor balconies on the back of the townhomes. I would be able to salvage enough food and supplies from the neighborhood homes to last for a while. My wife also has a shitton of canned vegetables that I complain we have too many of, but would be very grateful for in this situation.

My townhome is on a river, so if there was an emergency, we could escape by canoe/kayaks out the backyard. Not sure where we would go from there, but it would provide a temporary escape from a deadly situation.

We keep a car in the garage, which we could load up without being exposed to zombie threat if the neighborhood was overrun. This would be the ideal situation if an immediate need for escape arose.

Rationing:

Everything would obviously be rationed. Meals would be limited to the food in the house. In the event of the inevitable power loss, everything in the fridge and freezer would be first to go in a feast type setting. Meals from then out would consist of canned vegetables other grains. The river would provide water would could be boiled in the event of running water or bottled water being unavailable. I mentioned scavenging neighbor's homes for supplies; but there are also three grocery stores within five miles of my house. Provided they aren't cleaned out during the mass panic; they would be optimum sources of supplies. I imagine they would all be easily accessed with force, but the hardest one would be the one in the bad part of town with the roller shades to keep the blacks out.

I'd also scavenge homes for supplies. I'd travel light and alone. Taking only what is needed for survival. I would definitely check out my dealer's house and hope to find some major weight in weed. I would definitely want to have an incredible drug source to get me through the apocalypse. I would probably try and make daily runs for food, even to store. I'd search for any kind of firearm and ammo I could find as well.

Defence/Offence:

Currently, if the zombie apocalypse popped off, I would be in short supply of weapons. I have an assortment of bats, knives and blunt instruments that I could use as melee weapons. My weapon of choice would have to either be my t-ball bat that I keep by the bed or the wood axe in the garage. I have a .22 rifle; but I would not want to rely on it for long-term survival. It would be good at dispatching potential looters or dickhead neighbors. I hope it would be reliable enough to drop a couple of zombies provided I could knock out a few headshots. I would be able to setup a "sniper outage"

I have friends that have small arsenals and I would probably try and make a trip to their homes to stock up, provided they are dead or the undead. I think a shotgun would be optimal for zombies as the more firepower per square inch would be the best option.

I would be weary about teaming up with anyone and would likely be willing to kill someone for their stuff or if I felt threatened in anyway. If it was someone I knew it might be a different story, otherwise I wouldn't feel safe with them in the current situation.

[Massacre 7646]

Intel: Proper zombies are slow and stupid. They'll wander around groaning until they see or hear people, then they'll start heading that way. Slowly. They're not smart enough to hide and wait for prey.

Refuge: I'll be traveling, no reason to just sit around someplace. With any luck, I'll run into a few forum peeps along the way.

Rationing: I'll take whatever food I can easily carry, and a few bottles of multivitamins to make up for what's missing from my diet. No one's going to be thinking about vitamins during a zombie apocalypse, so they'll be easy to find.

Defense/Offense:You need at least two guns, and as many melee weapons as you can carry without them interfering with your mobility. I'll be buying a shotgun soon, and I've already got a pistol... Somewhere around here. I've got enough ammo. For melee, I have a machete, and a large metal bar I found in my yard a few months ago. I don't know what the fuck it's supposed to be, but I can kill things with it. I've got plenty of other melee weapons, but you need a longer reach for zombies, so I'm leaving knives out of it.

[Jizzy 633]

Intel: slow and dumb, so i can avoid them rather than shoot them.

Refuge: probably going to be traveling with a few other survivors but not a huge group, going from huge buildings like schools, military bases, hospitals, malls, etc. scavenging and all that.

rationing: as soon as the outbreak happens before it is a total Apocalypse i will stock up on preservatives to travel with, and when it happens i will try to find all non-preservatives early.

Offense/Defense: i will be carrying some sort of hand gun, but i will probably stick to a blunt object mainly because i dont need constant ammo for that and zombies are usually attracted to sound.

[Qdeathstar 1763]

Intel:

I guess the most important question you should be asking yourself is what kind of threat are we looking at?

A threat like no other, obviously. Even more so than them jews. They like to bite. And you can't eat them... they are pretty much like fighting dogs....

Are the zombies fast & vicious?

Well, unfortunately unlike the movies, zombies in real life move simular to humans. They simply have no control over their brain, but their muscular system remains uneffected.

Are they slow and avoidable?

They are not slow, so if they spot you, depending on how fit they were in real life they may be able to catch you. However, zombie's are not smart and are not able to reason. They are generally unable to open doors or walk down stairs. They may walk upstairs, but this is troublesome for them and takes considerable time. In general, closed doors block zombies, stairs slow them down. While they have the strenght to break glass and remove barriers, they do not understand the cause-effect of such actions, making them unable to perform these tasks in a tactical manner.

How do they hunt? do they stand idle until they can see/smell you? Or do they hide and wait for you?

In general, due to the fact that zombies are unable to reason, they will only be dangerous in large groups, and this is the way they like to hunt. Due to the fact that the virus is very easily transmittable, zombies will always outnumber you where ever you go. Like humans, zombies have difficulty hunting and night. Their vision is further hampered by the fact that once they become infected, the virus attacks parts of the nervous system, in particular the occular nerve. In cases where humans have recently been infected, this causes extreme paranoa and violence. If one in your group becomes infected, kill them emediately because zombies in stage one of the infection are the most dangerous. They still have some ability to reason, but most of their ability is channelled through aggression.

Zombies are forever hungery. This is how the virus works. As was said before, the nervous system is attacked disabling key parts of the nervous system, once of those is the feeling of hunger. Zombies want more and more and more and can never be sasciated. This causes several problems which humans should be aware of. Firstly, Zombies are like humans in that they have a stomach which can only hold a specified ammount of material. Unfortunately, because zombies continously have the desire to consume if they are in a situation where they are able to eat a large quantity of material, they will regurginate this material. This material is extremely infections and you do not have to bit or cut to become infected by this material, so avoid situations where you come in close contact with zombies, or zombie puke.

Refuge:

Where you will hold up.

Is your house/flat/apartment safe in an outbreak?

Any structure with suitable doors/windows is safe.

The problem comes when:

a. you need more supplies

or

b. you let somone in that is in the very early stages of the infection (<2 days).

or

c. you choose to hold up in a high-value target and come under the attack of someone who wants what you have. I recommend using these locations to scavage only, not to hold, as they will require too many resources.

How many people do you have with you, and will they help you survive or end up getting you killed?

While it is nice to have a companion or two, it is your duty to travel alone. If you are in a group, and one person gets infected, the entire group may become infected very quickly. The survivial of the human race depends on the ability to outlast the virus. In general, zombies can maintain an animated state for around 3 weeks. This virus will be self-limiting, its just a matter of whether or not you will surve this period.

Will you seek refuge somewhere else, and why?

Will you keep moving from place to place, to avoid being cornered?

Keep moving.

Rationing:

What you will do when you run out of food & water.

Water should be easy. Start collecting rain. Its your best bet, avoid drinking from public sources of water or from streams and the like due to the fact that you don't know where a zombie may have regurgitated the highly infections materal.

Will you go out and look for food?

You don't really have a choice.Just remember, try to do it at night. Avoid high value targets. There are 100 houses with cans of food, but there is only one supermarket.

Do you have one place in mind that will house all your needs?

Yeah, and so will everyone esle. Theres no point in having a shootout especially when gaining intel on your potential target will be incredible difficult.

You don't have a lot of storage on the move, What is the most essential food and tools for survival?

Canned goods and rice. Ramon noodle is good too, as it is light wieght and dense.

Defence/Offence:

So you want to survive? What sort of weapons & defence do you plan to put in place to help you live longer?

Idealing you'd want a gun with some sort of silencer. Keeping bottles and placeing them over the muzzle works well. Avoid malet weapons unless you are trained in them. Using these weapons will most likely result in you cutting yourself. In addition, in close combat you run the risk of having a zombie regurgitate on you. Finally, if you find yourself in a situation with more than one or two zombies, you better start running because your not the terminator.

If you have a gun, do you have enough ammo? if not, where will you get it?

Keep this shit stocked up, son.

What sort of melee weapon will keep you a good arms length away if you have to come face to face with one?

really, not worth it. As mentioned above. Unless your some sort of jet-li samari... these weapons won't help.

Will you secure your windows if you have any? If so, with what, and where will you get that?

Unless your trying to prevent rival humans from attacking you, theres no need.

[Firm 982]

Intel

The silly slow ones. Just for the entertainment factor. I think a one-on-one scenario would be a lot of fun, good stress relief.

Refuge

I will be stealing my neighbors transit van. I can keep plenty of supplies in the back, weapons, food, sex doll etc.

I will be attempting to locate and rescue radio and Buzzcocks host Mark Lamarr (fingers crossed he's not infected).

If the panic of the apocalypse has left the roads to cluttered for car travel, I think a loft would be a suitable place to hunker

down for the night. The general plan is to keep moving.

Rationing

I'm totally unprepared for disaster of this scale. Currently my kitchen consists of baked bean, bread, cheese,worstershire sauce, microwave burgers and a frozen pizza. I'll be raiding homes and depots, hopefully they'll be a few pallets of water and food stranded on the high racks.

Offence/defence

I don't keep weapons around the house (assuming I'm home when the zombie invasion hits). The closest practical weapon would be a pipe that fits onto my hoover. I have a kubaton, swiss army knife and a couple of cricket bats which are kept in the shed outside. I've never held, fired a gun in my life so I'm assuming I would be a shit shot, I'd probably end up blowing my thumb off.

Overall I would be pretty fucked. Cannon fodder for Dupzor.

[Massacre 7646]

Offence/defence

a couple of cricket bats which are kept in the shed outside.

That's all you need.

[narcolepsy 581]

I trust massacre so

Intel: Proper zombies are slow and stupid. They'll wander around groaning until they see or hear people, then they'll start heading that way. Slowly. They're not smart enough to hide and wait for prey. Cyantist edit: Hopefully they cant climb.

Refuge

I'll be living in my loft basically, there are planks down and I could probably get a mattress up there. I have all the tools I need to cut a hole into the roof. I'd then probably attach hinges so I can climb in and out onto the roof. Theres alot of flammable materials up there, Oil, turps etc.I may be able to make a few cocktails to toss if I'm noticed when crawling and we begin to get a crowd. They aren't getting in either way if they can't climb but I dont want those fuckers groaning at me all the time, so I'd cook them. Ill mention why I'd use the crawl space aside from getting on the roof to paint a help sign. The wood in the loft could help me build bridges between neighbours houses which are probably 10-12ft distances.

Rationing

We have lots of tinned food already that i'd move upto the loft, however my crawl space on the roof would allow me to get into atleast 3 neighbours houses, I'd probably have to kill them, but I'd harvest all there food, and hopefully most would be zombies anyway so I wouldnt give a fuck. I might no even need the roofs as 4 houses in a row are attached. I could maybe create a small hole in the loft walls that I could climb through.

Offence/defence

No guns here im afraid and I wont have much chance of getting them. However in my loft there are lots of wood, nails cricket bats etc. There is also the flammable goods I mentioned earlier. I would probably use the wood for fortifying or building my bridges like I mentioned earlier.

I have a few computers here, So I'd probably set up a pirate radio station for the survivors to give them tips if the internet stays up. There are also ways to get power from phone lines. I also intend to get a CB radio so I can send out messages.

I may expand this further.

[Massacre 7646]

Does everyone in the UK have a cricket bat on their property? No wonder they used one in Shaun of the Dead.

[narcolepsy 581]

Does everyone in the UK have a cricket bat on their property? No wonder they used one in Shaun of the Dead.

It's been sat up there for atleast 10 years now. Theres also a few soccer balls up there. I could spray turps over the zombies and then put a little on the ball and BANG! Fireballs!

[Massacre 7646]

Do you have a monocle up there? I've long suspected that every Brit has a monocle somewhere, just in case.

[Firm 982]

Does everyone in the UK have a cricket bat on their property? No wonder they used one in Shaun of the Dead.

It's been sat up there for atleast 10 years now. Theres also a few soccer balls up there. I could spray turps over the zombies and then put a little on the ball and BANG! Fireballs!

At the very least it would spice up a game of 5-a-side.

Do you have a monocle up there? I've long suspected that every Brit has a monocle somewhere, just in case.

I vaguely recall wearing a monocle for fancy dress night out many years ago. Fuck, need to find it.

Edit: It wasn't a monocle. Turns out someone drew it on my face. Apparently I couldn't tell the difference.

[narcolepsy 581]

Do you have a monocle up there? I've long suspected that every Brit has a monocle somewhere, just in case.

My grandads snapped glasses are up there. It's basically one lens.

[Massacre 7646]

^ Close enough.

Edit: It wasn't a monocle. Turns out someone drew it on my face. Apparently I couldn't tell the difference.

Someone should make a cartoon about you.

[Mercy 30]

I dont have a cricket bat...i do have a hockey stick tho so that should do.

[Jizzy 633]

Does everyone in the UK have a cricket bat on their property? No wonder they used one in Shaun of the Dead.

will an aluminum baseball bat do?

[Massacre 7646]

Aluminum is fine. Wood is going to have more impact, but if you're ever cornered by a large group of zombies, you'll be glad you went with aluminum when you have to swing it for ten minutes straight.

[Firm 982]

My years on the school cricket will finally pay off. I knew all them group showers were worth it.

[Indy 350]

I only felt like doing the intel bit, maybe I will add more later.

Intel:

How does one become a zombie? The brain and/or nervous system must be affected. I don't believe reanimation to be possible. So, zombies will have to be alive. They cannot change species and so we must assume them to be humanoid with altered physiology. The cause would a prototype virus that was biochemically engineered to combat neurodegenerative disease. The virus was engineered to create certain genetic mutations. (This could be possible, since certain cancers can be caused by viruses.)

Symptoms would include a state of rage, hunger and paranoia. All three arising from an alteration in hormones and neuronal development. Similar to a cancer, neurones would uncontrollably proliferate and migrate to form new connections in the brain. All of this would be virally encoded. The three-states (rage/hunger/paranoia) would over-ride normal emotion, zombies are unable to co-operate and would also attack one another, being unable to tell the difference between normal humans and zombies. Or rather, just not caring.

Zombies are physically normal, but they are driven entirely by their instinct, which in turn is driven by the three mental states. The disease is highly contagious in its early stages and can be passed on through coughing or normal influenza. It rapidly progresses since it was developed to be highly specific and potent, the three-state symptoms will become apparent within two days. Once fully infected, the virus is much more difficult to contract from the subject and can only be done so through blood infection. The virus does not trigger a strong immune response, and so it is highly infectious since the infected can pass the virus fairly inconspicuously.

Due to the nature of the genetic mutations caused by the virus, zombies prematurely die from a manifestation of deregulated neurogenesis. I would estimate about 2-3 months.

[DuPz0r 5361]

Just a few more random questions to add to the list:

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What would you think is the most forgotten item in a scenario like this?

Would you ever prepare for something like this, and how?

Ideas for home-made protective armour?

What sort of footwear would you wear, and why?

If you were to keep one book with you, what would it be and why?

What sort of general skills do you think would pay off in this scenario?

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Answer any or all, whenever you feel like it.

[Indy 350]

General skills:

Combat - If you're proficient with firearms it would help greatly (if available), and maybe swords. I don't think your MMA skills would help much though (unless one-on-one).

Survival - If you're Bear Grylls you can just run into the nearest forest and live forever amongst the trees and birds.

*Science - I think a strong scientific background could be useful. If you can obtain a sample and analyse it, you might be able to make yourself resistant. Although this is very unlikely unless you have a team of scientists and a very good lab.

[Massacre 7646]

Homemade armor: Slice the seat belts out of a few cars and stitch them to your clothes, they'll never be able to bite through it. They can be chewed through, but if they have time to chew through that shit, you're already dead.

[Indy 350]

Homemade armor: Slice the seat belts out of a few cars and stitch them to your clothes, they'll never be able to bite through it. They can be chewed through, but if they have time to chew through that shit, you're already dead.

That's pretty smart. I would be walking around with baking trays and various other kitchen cutlery fastened to my body.

I would completely fail in a zombie situation. I have too many vulnerable people I love

[Massacre 7646]

And very lightweight. I forget how many layers it took, but I've seen bulletproof vests made of seat belts. Thick, very strong weave, seat belts are a great resource for any post-apocalyptic wanderer, zombies or otherwise.

Also, while I know you're joking, for the benefit of any stupid people reading this: kitchen supplies would be extremely loud, basically a zombie dinner bell.