The Zombie Apocalypse Bible

[DuPz0r 5361]

Anyone want some seatbelts?

But, seriously, that's a pretty great idea. You'd need some heavy duty shears to cut them out of a car in the first place right? I've never tried cutting through a seatbelt, so I'm not sure how resilient they are to blades.

[narcolepsy 581]

I only felt like doing the intel bit, maybe I will add more later.

Intel:

How does one become a zombie? The brain and/or nervous system must be affected. I don't believe reanimation to be possible. So, zombies will have to be alive. They cannot change species and so we must assume them to be humanoid with altered physiology. The cause would a prototype virus that was biochemically engineered to combat neurodegenerative disease. The virus was engineered to create certain genetic mutations. (This could be possible, since certain cancers can be caused by viruses.)

Symptoms would include a state of rage, hunger and paranoia. All three arising from an alteration in hormones and neuronal development. Similar to a cancer, neurones would uncontrollably proliferate and migrate to form new connections in the brain. All of this would be virally encoded. The three-states (rage/hunger/paranoia) would over-ride normal emotion, zombies are unable to co-operate and would also attack one another, being unable to tell the difference between normal humans and zombies. Or rather, just not caring.

Zombies are physically normal, but they are driven entirely by their instinct, which in turn is driven by the three mental states. The disease is highly contagious in its early stages and can be passed on through coughing or normal influenza. It rapidly progresses since it was developed to be highly specific and potent, the three-state symptoms will become apparent within two days. Once fully infected, the virus is much more difficult to contract from the subject and can only be done so through blood infection. The virus does not trigger a strong immune response, and so it is highly infectious since the infected can pass the virus fairly inconspicuously.

Due to the nature of the genetic mutations caused by the virus, zombies prematurely die from a manifestation of deregulated neurogenesis. I would estimate about 2-3 months.

2-3 months? Those Irish guys in the prison survived like 60 days without food and water.

Shit yeah, the survivors could survive if they run out of food!

[Massacre 7646]

I don't even know what that post says, wasn't willing to copy/paste it somewhere or switch back to the white forum skin to read it.

[Guest Bruce Willis]

First time I've entered this thread, I might join in.

Refuge:

Well I live in one of the tallest 'skyscrapers' in the country (40 stories is tall for the UK) which has security guards patrolling the grounds. So I presume these 'guards' are also zombified by now? Shit, they have keys to the building!

I suppose I'd have to block up the staircase every 5th floor or so with the neighbour's furniture and disable the lift somehow then make my way to the 40th floor where I'll have a good all round vantage point where I can watch over the whole city.

Rationing:

On my way to up there I'd stop off to collect food from the restaraunt on the 34th but I'd be likely to run out of fresh within a day or two. Hmmm, the window cleaner's crane? No electricity? Fuck. There are several outdoors stores near me which sell army type rations which heat themselves and have use by dates of about 10 years - lots of food stores around too - well it is kind of next to if not in the city centre so I don't think I'd starve.

Just gotta find a way down.

Defense:

With my view from the rooftop deck and my trusty binoculars and telescope I should be able to see anything approaching from miles away. If suddenly I heard a scratching sound at my front door [a fire door] I'd ready my blowtorch to burn their fingers off should their claw-like fingers find a way through the side.

Of course I'd have hammers and crow bars to hand but those are for close quarters, a position which would indicate the end is nigh so what else is there?

There are also several army surplus stores nearby which stock bullet-proof vests and kevlar helmets but I doubt they'd be shooting at me. As DuP' said, it's not like you can walk into a 'Gun Shop' and pick up an Armalite - well not unless you're willing to settle for an airsoft version which fire 22mm BB's and paintball guns would be fun for two minutes I'm sure but short of blinding the undead they'd be useless.

There's about four TA barracks within a few miles which have armouries which real assault rifles but how long would it take me to use a petrol whizzer to break in?

Think dammit think!!

OK there's the Inshore Rescue boats which I could reach in a 2 minute sprint (or the Royal Marines' Reserve HQ about 10 minutes away which has 'rigid raider' fast boats)but the only place one of those would get me is Birkenhead but that's connected by tunnels to my side so the fuckers would see me coming and get their dinner suits ready. Maybe I could make it to Ireland? No, not enough fuel. I could get to Hilbre Island just off the coast of Pieface and feed off the Atlantic grey seals that live there.

Just thought, when the tide goes out I'm pretty sure you can wade through the soggy sand to the mainland so that's not good. I can't even get down from this damn skyscraper anyway and my rabbit is looking tasty. Fuck the wife.

This has got me thinking now, maybe living in the sky isn't that good after all. Hope I contributed to the thread properly, not used to talking about zombie apocalypses.

Think dammit, think!

[Jizzy 633]

i honestly in a zombie outbreak would prefer blunt objects, less chance of that blood getting in your mouth or in an open wound.

[Qdeathstar 1763]

Malay weapons are a terrible idea, sure you don't have to worry about ammo, but

1. The are heavy and take up lots of space that could be used for other things.

2. You have to let the target get close to you

3.I you need training to kill with Malay weapons. You might get lucky once but all it takes is for them to cut you. One mistake from an untrained hand and that's all she

I wonder what the limit is on the iphone app for shiity useless iphone app signature. I mean, did invision realise this app was so shitty that the needed to give people the ability to say "yo, sorry this post is shit snd i cant quote you or post this cool picturr i took because im using this shiity app, but on the bright side, at least now you know thats why my post sucks."... And even if thats the case why not just simply make that the default signature instead of mindfucking everyone by automatically posting null everywhere. This is an easy fix that makes me go what the fuck. I mean, hell... I know im not paying for the app so i get what i get, but thr invision board liscenses cost money and if you own a site and pay for the liscense shif should work... Also, no adsence or advertising support... Wtf. I would type more trying to get to the limit of this shitty app but ive ran out of stuff to say... So thats it

[Massacre 7646]

Unless you're using a sledgehammer or a medieval mace, melee weapons aren't that heavy, letting a zombie get close to you isn't a big deal, and any motherfucker can kill a zombie, or person, with a melee weapon, it's not hard at all.

And a smart person is going to be using a bludgeon, not a bladed weapon. I actually know how to handle a sword and I still wouldn't use one for killing zombies. A machete is the only bladed weapon I would suggest for killing zombies.

[Guest Bruce Willis]

In case you missed it I edited my last post. Also, get on this about the tower I live in. And the site is called 28 Days Later!

[DuPz0r 5361]

In case you missed it I edited my last post. Also, get on this about the tower I live in. And the site is called 28 Days Later!

I'm always on that 28 days later website. I used to urban explore over building tops and what not, when i was younger, and i used to post images up on there. Also, there are some great places on there I would consider safehouse material.

This looks like a good place to store things like supplies, and lay low for a while. Needs a bit of a fix up, and just gotta make sure nothing can get in or out. But it seems like a good bunker if you have a group of survivors. I sure as well wouldn't allow 1999 other people in there with me though!

"Dodge Hill is the smallest of the three shelters, accommodating 2000 people. Carved out of sandstone using pneumatic drills. Consisteing on multiple blocks, each block has multiple entrances, decontamination areas, beds and toilets - some of which are still in place. In the early 1990s, Chestergate Shelters were re-opened to the public as a place of historical interest."

[Jizzy 633]

*goes to walmart, gets one of those accident multi-tool things that cut seatbelts...*

[DuPz0r 5361]

Make sure you're always alert. And drive safely!

[Massacre 7646]

Dumb whore. Also, I laughed hysterically when Daryl called her 'Olive Oil' two episodes ago.

Don't know why they got such an awkward, skinny bitch to play Lori.

[DuPz0r 5361]

LOL, same here. Was a good one. Can't wait to see the next episode now. The preview for next week looked pretty heated.

Also, we need some zombiies up in here: It feels to theory based, we need some target practice!

NSFW

[Indy 350]

2-3 months? Those Irish guys in the prison survived like 60 days without food and water.

Shit yeah, the survivors could survive if they run out of food!

They died of pneumonia because their diaphragm muscle had been metabolised.

I'm assuming the zombies will eat one another (as well as humans) and survive out of pure animal instinct, so they won't starve. Though the disease will cause them to die as explained before. I have no idea how long that would take, no doubt it'll vary between each sample. 2-3 months sounds kind of reasonable. Might be less, depends how quick the transformation takes place.

[Qdeathstar 1763]

Just a few more random questions to add to the list:

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What would you think is the most forgotten item in a scenario like this?

That it problably won't be the zombies that kill you, but other humans that want what you got.

Would you ever prepare for something like this, and how?

No, not a zombie apolypse.

Ideas for home-made protective armour?

i got like 10 phonebooks hanging around. That should be a start.

What sort of footwear would you wear, and why?

lightweight boots. Think timberlands.

If you were to keep one book with you, what would it be and why?

The Bible.. a lot of people will get all religious in a time like this and i can use the fact that "im religious" as a benefit.

What sort of general skills do you think would pay off in this scenario?

Military experience.

Being a track runner

[DuPz0r 5361]

Who thinks they could sleep at night if they could hear this ambient sound whilst laying in your sleeping bag?

[Guest Marney1]

Who thinks they could sleep at night if they could hear this ambient sound whilst laying in your sleeping bag?

Gives you the chills that does.

[Massacre 7646]

Sounds like the inside of an empty cargo ship. With zombies outside, of course. I don't sleep much as it is, but I think I could sleep through that, if it got to the point where I couldn't stay awake any longer.

[Qdeathstar 1763]

After a while it sounds droney like an ac... No problem sleeping

I wonder what the limit is on the iphone app for shiity useless iphone app signature. I mean, did invision realise this app was so shitty that the needed to give people the ability to say "yo, sorry this post is shit snd i cant quote you or post this cool picturr i took because im using this shiity app, but on the bright side, at least now you know thats why my post sucks."... And even if thats the case why not just simply make that the default signature instead of mindfucking everyone by automatically posting null everywhere. This is an easy fix that makes me go what the fuck. I mean, hell... I know im not paying for the app so i get what i get, but thr invision board liscenses cost money and if you own a site and pay for the liscense shif should work... Also, no adsence or advertising support... Wtf. I would type more trying to get to the limit of this shitty app but ive ran out of stuff to say... So thats it

[DuPz0r 5361]

More question:

1. If you were to acquire an animal for livestock (from a farm or whatever) to keep in your possession, what animal would it be and why?

2. If you have a small squad of people with you, men; women; children, how would you use them all efficiently to keep alive?

3. If you had to leave your house because it had become unsafe, what possession (only one) you most want to take with you, besides survival equipment?

[CFO Charles 827]

Intel:

I'm going with your classic, slow and stupid walker zombies. They walk around aimlessly until they find something that looks delicious and then go for an all out sprint until they can grab it.

Refuge:

I probably wouldn't trust my house, but 2-3 blocks away is a large open auditorium, complete with a stocked kitchen, basketball court and exercise room, also there aren't many windows, and the windows that are there are more high up on the walls like skylights

Now I'd probably have my family and my neighborhood friends. My youngest sister is amazing at cooking from scratch and is also a pretty good hairdresser, so she'd be incredibly useful. My father has enough strength to help with everyday tasks, and my mother would probably be there more for moral support (cant think of any other uses...). My oldest sister is fucking useless and would get us killed in seconds. I'd throw her to the zombies just to buy us time. My friend around the block from me is a tradesman, so he'd have lots of useful tools, (nailguns, 2x4s,

saws).

I'd probably stay with the auditorium as it's part of a bigger complex (school, church, auditorium, minister's quarters), and go back and forth between those. It's also a 4 minute walk from downtown, tons of small restaurants, and mini-marts.

Rationing:

The auditorium has fresh running water and enough food to feed 200 students... but in the event that we did run out I'd start by checking the schools lunch room and the minister's house. If that was unsuccessful then I'd get a group of people and walk a couple blocks to a mini-mart for some food. Then re-stock the auditorium.

On the move I'd bring non-perishable snacks like granola bars. And i'd bring along a sledgehammer, for smashing obstacles, and zombies

Defence/Offence:

Well like I said, the auditorium only has skylights so I wouldn't be to worried with windows, and the steel door is rather sturdy, mostly just a matter of locking it and maybe barricading it a little. With this being Canada, I don't own a gun. So I'd probably check out the police station (which also happens to be just 5 blocks away) if I ever got the chance. But I would defenatly not rely on guns, if anything i'd use the classic nailed 2x4 or barb wire bat. other choices include nail guns, saws, drills, anything that will cause damage and wont run out of ammo.

More question:

1. A Cow. Constant source of fresh milk, which can be used to make food.

2. Yes. But anybody that didn't pull their weight would be thrown out

3. Ummmmm.... Paintball gun?

[Massacre 7646]

1. An ox, if possible. Female. Milk, decent meat (if it comes to that), and a good pack animal. A more likely option would be a run-of-the-mill cow. It's better than nothing.

2. If I'm with a group, they're going to know what they're doing, or I won't be traveling with them.

3. Provided I have the aforementioned pack animal, my computer (computer only, I won't have trouble finding a monitor, keyboard, etc.). It's the only thing I'd have trouble leaving behind. If I didn't have a pack animal, I'd just take my external hard drive. You've got to have a steady supply of entertainment during an apocalypse. Low moral = low motivation = death.

[Guest Marney1]

1. A chicken to produce my daily egg, if it fails to lay one day I'll wring it's neck.
   
2. I'd rather go alone because I can only truly trust myself.
   
3. Pen and writing pad so I can sell my story if I survive.
   

[CFO Charles 827]

Pen and writing pad so I can sell my story if I survive.

Good answer, wish I'd thought of that...

[Qdeathstar 1763]

1. If you were to acquire an animal for livestock (from a farm or whatever) to keep in your possession, what animal would it be and why?

I'd say a horse. Transportation mainly, plus everything else just moves too slow to be usefull in a zombie situation.

2. If you have a small squad of people with you, men; women; children, how would you use them all efficiently to keep alive?

I wouldnt.

3. If you had to leave your house because it had become unsafe, what possession (only one) you most want to take with you, besides survival equipment?

Like i said before, never under estimate the power of the bible.