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School Memories

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Some paki stabbed another paki in the back of the head with a pencil during math once, I think he got some lead got stuck in there. Anyway, it was funny.

Don't be racist you fucking Paki!

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In my third grade class there was this fucked up girl who stabbed my friend in the arm. He went to the emergency room. In 4th grade, that same girl bit the fucking teacher. We had some real winners at my elementary school.

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I was once stabbed with a potato peeler <_<

Lefse-Potato-Peeler.jpg

Barely broke the skin, I thought I'd been mortally wounded. Screaming my head off I was.

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I had 3 fights in the entirity of secondary school (two were with teachers). I had more in my first school but generally that was against new kids who weren't really aware of who I was.

I was in Year 7 for the first one which was against a small asian kid. I was always hanging around with what you'd class as the nerd kids because they had the same interests as me when one day in class he began shit talking one for no reason and threw a pen at my head. Now imagine a 5'3 kid who weighs roughly 120lbs jumping a table and head butting him before laying into him. That's me. I got in trouble for this one but he got the worst of the blame somehow. I didn't even get any shit even though it was a completely one sided fight.

My second one was year 8, with a arrogant dickhead of a gym teacher. I NEVER did shit in gym because I could never be bothered (unless it was rounders or dodgeball, which I was surprisingly good at). Put bluntly one day the bottom set (my set) and the top set (aka the jocks) were put together to play football. As usual I didn't do shit and somebody passed the ball right to me and my buddy. We didn't want to do shit so we just stepped aside and let it roll to somebody behind us. Que douchebag gym teacher running over and giving us shit. My pal was pretty scared (he's the smaller geeky type) I really didn't care because it was just gym. During the course of him completely over reacting to us making a joke of a lesson that's a joke anyway he called me a retard. Big mistake. I fucking HATED that word, even when people werent saying it to me. At that point I ended up going into some kind of invulnerability rage mode, doing some kind of a spear and took him to the ground, this began a 15 minute long standoff where I somehow found my way into back mount and refused to let go (two assistants trying to pull me off) while half choking him out and laying punches into him when I could - the entire time this wannabe tough guy was sat with his hands protecting his face. I didn't get in trouble for this one either. It was very one sided and they sorta just swept it under the carpet despite the fact besides calling me a retard he hadn't done shit. Quite odd.

The final time was with some foreign exchange teacher. He tried to tell me to do work and refused to have any of it when I showed him I'd completed it and was helping a buddy. Que him telling me to stand up and an argument, I musta got him wound up enough because he pushed me, I pushed him back and he went to the floor and got back up looking pissed. Nothing else actually came of it and this one never even left the classroom (besides this story)

I can't even begin to count how many I broke with a soccer ball or football...

I did that with golf balls. We were told to aim for certain areas to get points (it wasn't just hit far as fuck), unfortunately about 50 feet beyond those were the windows of the Maths block, two windows got put through (one of which was by my ball) and our group didn't do golf again for the rest of the year. Not too bad really. Golf was a pain in the arse and we were doing it in december and we got to do dodgeball inside instead.

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I used to live in a really bad neighborhood myself. Made friends with most of the people there so I didn't really have problems with anybody. Still have some crazy stories about the shit that went on at my school and the surrounding area. Like the fact that the principal at my middle school was a cocaine addict and would snort lines in his office in front of everyone, kids at my school would start riots and gang fights, etc. But yeah, shit was crazy.

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In the sixth grade a kid from Pakistan named Zakria came to our school. In Family and Consumer science he was fucking around with a pencil sharpener and he cut a kid on the arm, when the teacher came over Zakria hid the blade in his mouth without getting cut. Nothing happened to him punishment wise. He was from then on known as the school terrorist.

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lol Cyantist, they would crucify you here for touching a teacher, you'd probably just get expelled really.

This one day in my year 11, it was a pretty cold day, so the windows in my classroom were all foggy like... what do I decide to do? Draw a cock in it of course.

That cock alone right there got me suspended for 3 days, 3 fucking days. Do you know what's like telling your parents you just got suspended for drawing a dick? It sucks.

To be fair, that whole class got out of control, when the teacher got in and saw me finishing up my Picasso he just called me out and told me sit my ass. The rest of the class somehow got to a point where other kids were calling the teacher names and just making a huge mess, eventually the teacher gave the class an ultimatum - sit down, shut your face or I'm going to fill out a disciplinary case against the whole class - That got him about 2 seconds of silence, suddenly this kid, a gypsy (fucking gypsies man!!) just blurts out the loudest 'FUCK YOU' and that was it lol.

When I was called to the principal's office the teacher pretty much introduced me as "AND THIS IS THE KID THAT WAS DRAWING PENISES ON MY WAY IN"... Wow dude, it was ONE penis, ya?

3 days, shit.

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Our headteacher had the shit kicked outta him by student he suspended a couple of days earlier.

We never saw him again. He was replaced by a female headteacher, she had a chunk of ice thrown at her head.

She also left. For my remaining time at school the headteaching duties were performed by the fucking P.E teacher.

Everyday we used to play 11-a-side football with the year 10s (we was year 11), a fight broke out at least three times a week,

We used to play in a kind of isolated area "top pitch" we called it, teachers never went there so no one ever got in trouble.

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My school was really shitty at that time. Probably the worst in my city perhaps.

There was once a riot that I think was race related. I missed it by about a few seconds because me and my buddies pushed in with the IT teacher to get through the line faster withour burgers and chocolate milk, then lied to the people who made sure you didn't have food with you when you were going outside that we were doing work in a classroom and came down to take our lunch back. Five seconds after we got through the doors there was a bunch of loud bangs (which were seemingly chairs being thrown) and a tonne of shouting. After all was said and done, a bunch of paki kids had fucked off home to get knives, a dinner lady was KO'd, the walls had marks all over them where chairs and tables and shit had been thrown and the year 7's got to go home 15 minutes early.

The few times I actually did play football at break I sat in defense talking to a friend who was a keeper (and a good one at that) and when the ball came I'd boot it to the other side of the gras (it's basically a dirt field with all this red stones shit all over it) or slam into somebody. No rules in red gras football.

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Our school was shit too.

The biggest and roughest school in my area was Padstow (kinda notorious in Nottingham, two of Nottinghams biggest gangsters went there), back in 2000 it closed down. So all of there scumbag students were farmed out to surrounding schools, hundreds of them.

Ruined it for the rest of us.

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Our school got the shit of the shit too. There was an asian kid who came from a school on the other side of my city for stabbing a kid in the eye with a pencil, my school was the only one that would take him. The first day he got the shit beat out of him by a year 7 (he was in year 10) just so he wouldn't try to act tough here.

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Our school got the shit of the shit too. There was an asian kid who came from a school on the other side of my city for stabbing a kid in the eye with a pencil, my school was the only one that would take him. The first day he got the shit beat out of him by a year 7 (he was in year 10) just so he wouldn't try to act tough here.

I lived in an area with a lot of small towns, so my school got pretty much all of the idiots that were expelled from any school within a 50 mile radius, including a couple bomb threat writers, wannabe gang members (In Nebraska? Ya, they were that kind of retarded asshole) and basically anyone that couldn't speak basic english (Nebraska is fucking teeming with Mexicans)

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in year 7 it was our first week and i was sitting in the classroom and all the other people were too and the teacher said she needed to go out for a moment and to stay in silence otherwise you would get a detention and she said she would be a minute so she went and we were all quiet apart from some people whispering and then after a minute she wasn't back and then another minute went and she wasn't back but i thought she was tricking us to catch us out so i stayed quiet and after 10 minutes everyone was loud apart from me and everyone was trying to get me to talk and i wasn't going to talk and i wrote on my book saying i am being a mime like those french people and showed it to them which was a lie but i wanted them to stop telling me to be loud but it didn't work and the whole class was trying to make me talk and kept shouting at me and jumping on the tables and the teacher wasn't back for the whole lesson and then the bell went and everyone left and then i left so i could have talked for the whole lesson but i didn't. x

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in year 7 it was our first week and i was sitting in the classroom and all the other people were too and the teacher said she needed to go out for a moment and to stay in silence otherwise you would get a detention and she said she would be a minute so she went and we were all quiet apart from some people whispering and then after a minute she wasn't back and then another minute went and she wasn't back but i thought she was tricking us to catch us out so i stayed quiet and after 10 minutes everyone was loud apart from me and everyone was trying to get me to talk and i wasn't going to talk and i wrote on my book saying i am being a mime like those french people and showed it to them which was a lie but i wanted them to stop telling me to be loud but it didn't work and the whole class was trying to make me talk and kept shouting at me and jumping on the tables and the teacher wasn't back for the whole lesson and then the bell went and everyone left and then i left so i could have talked for the whole lesson but i didn't. x

You obviously dropped out before they could teach a punctuation lesson.

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in year 7 it was our first week and i was sitting in the classroom and all the other people were too and the teacher said she needed to go out for a moment and to stay in silence otherwise you would get a detention and she said she would be a minute so she went and we were all quiet apart from some people whispering and then after a minute she wasn't back and then another minute went and she wasn't back but i thought she was tricking us to catch us out so i stayed quiet and after 10 minutes everyone was loud apart from me and everyone was trying to get me to talk and i wasn't going to talk and i wrote on my book saying i am being a mime like those french people and showed it to them which was a lie but i wanted them to stop telling me to be loud but it didn't work and the whole class was trying to make me talk and kept shouting at me and jumping on the tables and the teacher wasn't back for the whole lesson and then the bell went and everyone left and then i left so i could have talked for the whole lesson but i didn't. x

You obviously dropped out before they could teach a punctuation lesson.

i am still there english isn't my forte so to say. x

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In first grade in music class we were all sitting on bleechers and This girl picked her nose and tried to wipe it on me so i pushed her and she fell off the bleechers and broke her arm... I got 5 days oss..l

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Some kid on my football team got iss for showing his dick to a algebra teacher. Like last week.

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One of the kids I punched back in school is gay now.

If he's gay now, it means you were secretly a huge homophobe targeting the vulnerable back then, you sick fuck!

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